Primape Goes Bananas!

by Fire Drake

(a lost fic)

Professor Oak rested in his house in Pallet town, sipping his cup of tea. He sighed in contentment.

Just outside his house was the mini pokémon reserve where he kept the pokémon sent to him by various trainers. In a lake, a group of Poliwag socialized while a Slowpoke swam by slowly. A Poliwhirl popped up behind the Poliwags. Elsewhere in the park, a Dodrio raced by some Bellsprouts.

"Nothing like a cup of tea to start off the day," said Prof. Oak. He sighed again, lost in meditation.

A soft ringing sound grew slowly louder and more consistent. Eventually he looked up.

"Oh, thanks a lot Krabby," he said to the small red pokémon carrying a videophone. He placed it on the floor and turned it on.

Ash showed on the screen. "Professor! Good morning!" he said, looking happy.

"Ah, good morning Ash! I was just wondering when you might be calling," said Professor Oak. "Do you have some good news?"

"I sure do!" cried Ash. "Look at this!" The camera zoomed in on the four badges pinned to the inside of his jacket.

Prof. Oak took a bite of his cake and sipped his tea while Ash continued. "Pretty impressive, huh? I've already earned four badges!"

"Only four badges?" asked Professor Oak uninterestedly. Ash fell back in suprise.

"Ash? Are you still there? I just found out this morning that all your other rivals have earned five badges each, including Gary. They've all passed through Celadon City, too."

Ash jumped back up with a expression of anger on his face. "Ooh, that Gary!" He trailed off into a growl.

"You'd better hurry up, Ash. You don't want to fall further behind the others," continued Oak, then added, "And Gary has already captured 30 pokémon!"

"Huh? Thirty pokémon?" asked Ash.

"What about you? What's going on? I haven't gotten any pokémon from you in a while, not since the day you sent me Krabby here."

Krabby appeared on the screen, waving his pincers.

"Krabby, how 're ya going?" asked Ash.

"Koo kee koo kee, kekekekekekekeke!" it answered happily.

"We've become very good friends!" continued Oak. "We especially enjoy teatime, and writing poetry, and some of it's not that bad either!"

He struck a pose as he rehearsed. "Every day it's cake and tea, just my pokémon and me! Like it?"

"Err... I don't know very much about poetry..." replied Ash, avoiding the subject.

Professor Oak grew stern. "Now listen, Ash," he reprimanded. "Writing poetry is a lot like pokémon training: I can't write a good poem without rhymes... And you can't be a good trainer without catching more pokémon." His face brightened again. "Have to go now, the tea's getting cold!" The video screen blinked off.

Ash stood in front of the phone looking downcast for some time. A small tumbleweed blew by. He eventually walked from the pay phone down the road to where his friends were waiting.

Misty, Brock and Pikachu were sitting on a high rock outcrop eating donuts. Misty was the first to spot Ash walking towards them, looking at the ground.

When he was close, she said, "You look kinda down, Ash." Ash looked up in surprise. "Have a donut. That always cheers me up." She gestured to Brock, holding a pack of donuts.

"Pika-pika!" added Pikachu.

"These donuts are great! Jelly filled are my favorite!" said Brock. "Nothing beats a jelly filled donut."

"I just heard Gary has five badges," he said sadly.

"I get it," Misty said. "He's upset because he's falling behind."

"Pikapi," agreed Pikachu.

"The next city we come to is Celadon city. Isn't there supposed to be a gym there?" inquired Ash.

"There sure is. All we have to do is follow this road," Brock answered, pointing down the road Ash had just come from. "Celadon city is only a day's walk from here, even less if we keep up a fast pace."

Ash stood looking down the path for a few seconds. He reached up and turned his hat backwards.

"There's no way those guys are gonna win!" he said forcefully.

"Just remember Ash, unlike all the other wanna-be trainers out there, you've got to make it to the Pokémon League your own way," Misty reminded him.

"Right!" Agreed Brock. "Remember, it's quality over quantity, especially if you've got lots of different pokémon. Then they'll help you catch others."

"Yeah, that's it!" cried Ash, striking a victory-like pose. "Catch... lots of... Pokémon!"

"He'll never learn," Misty sighed hopelessly.

"I didn't ask you," Ash retorted.

Pikachu noticed something rustling in the bushes nearby. A small white head poked up.

"Mankey..." it said.

"Oh! It's a pokémon!" cried Ash happily. He pointed Dexter at it.

"Mankey," it said. "A pig-monkey pokémon of the fighting type. It packs a powerful punch."

Mankey hopped out of the bushes until it was in front of Brock. It started jumping around him.

"Maybe it wants a donut?" Brock wondered, holding one out to it. Mankey leaned close, sniffed it cautiously. It looked at Pikachu, who was taking large bites out of his donut. "Pika." Pikachu assured Mankey. Mankey took a couple more sniffs before taking the donut and jumping up onto a tall rock and tucking in. "Maaannk!" it called in approval.

"I think it likes it," observed Ash.

"That donut is my own special recipe," put in Brock. "No artificial ingredients."

"A fighting pokémon," said Ash, his mind focused. "That'd really help me in battle." He took a ball from his belt, growing it to full size.

"Hold on, you're not going to start by throwing a pokéball at it?!" called Misty.

"There's no way I'm going to miss this chance," said Ash, ignoring or not hearing Misty. "Mankey, you're mine now!" He unleashed the ball.

Mankey smugly threw the half-finished donut with great accuracy at the ball flying at it. The ball swallowed the donut and flew back to Ash. The ball opened to reveal the donut.

"It's a donut?!" he said incredulously.

"A donut pokémon?" Misty said, rolling her eyes.

Mankey jumped down, its earlier pleasant demeanor vanishing. "Maaaankkkeeeyyy!" it threatened.

"It looks to me like you got it pretty angry..." said Misty with a trace of fear.

"Now what are we supposed to do?" Ash consulted Dexter.

"Although Mankey is usually calm, it does have a bad temper. Once Mankey begins to Thrash, stopping it is impossible."

"What does it mean by Thrash?" asked Ash. They looked up.

Mankey was charging towards them full speed.

"AAAAAAAHHHHH!" they cried, zooming off, Mankey in hot pursuit.

"You should have let it finish that donut, Ash! Didn't your mother ever teach you manners?" said Misty between pants.

"She never mentioned Mankeys!"

"I shouldn't have made them taste so good!" cried Brock.

"Your homemade donuts are our only hope! Maybe more donuts will stop it!" cried Ash.

"Well it's sure worth a try."

"Pokéball..." Brock cried, holding the donut over his head. Ash, Misty and Pikachu sweatdropped.

"Sorry," he said. "Donut Go!" he said quickly, throwing it.

Mankey didn't even pause in its running, just batted it out of the air.

"That didn't work." Ash said.

"Ah, I wasted a donut!" they started to run again. Misty tripped.

Mankey closed on her fast. "Misty!" Ash cried, stopping.

Misty hid her face in her hands, ready to be Thrashed. Mankey merely jumped, kicked off from the back of her head, and flew towards Ash leaving her face down in the dirt. Mankey landed on Ash's face, and started Thrashing.

"Are you OK Ash?" called Brock.

"Of course I'm not OK!" Ash said between blows. Pikachu wanted to help but couldn't see how without hitting Ash too. At last, Mankey stopped, leaving Ash bruised, battered and utterly beaten on the ground, minus a hat.

"I... surrender..." Ash groaned slowly.

Mankey climbed a tree nearby, putting the hat on. It jumped on top of the tree with glee, laughing.

Three pairs of eyes watched them from a distance.

"Perfect," said James.

"Perfect," said Jessie.

"Purrfect," agreed Meowth.

"Now is the perfect time to capture Pikachu. While that little twerp is out of the action, we'll make a sneak suprise attack!" continued Jessie. She went into a pose. "If we pull this off, the boss will put us in the board of directors!"

"Team Rocket will rule the world!" added James, striking a similar pose.

"You really think so?" asked Jessie.

"When you dream, you've got to dream big!"

"You sure are dreaming," cut in Meowth. Both Jessie and James stared at him angrily.

Jessie rolled a ball of string to Meowth, who took it up and played with it like a kitten. Jessie and James looked at him pityingly.

"He's easy to satisfy," sighed Jessie.

Ash got up slowly to a sitting position. Brock, Misty and Pikachu knelt nearby.

"That Mankey sure beat you up big time," said Brock.

"Are you OK?"

"Pika?"

Ash's hand went to his head. "Where'd my hat go?" he asked. Misty pointed to the tree, where Mankey was still jumping and laughing.

"Ahhh!" Ash cried, running over to the tree. "You little thief! Gimme back my hat!"

Mankey only laughed harder. It mimicked Ash, turning the hat backwards and pretending to throw a pokéball. Ash got angrier.

"You can get another hat, Ash." Misty told him.

"It's not the hat, it's the principle." He ran up to the tree.

"Hold it, you're just going to get beat up again!"

Ash started shinnying up the tree. "It's mine," he said simply.

"What's so great about that hat?"

"I can't replace that hat! I won it at the official pokémon league expo!" Ash retorted. "Don't you know how tough it is to get one of those hats?"

"An official expo hat?" asked Brock. "Oh." They remembered the ads.

A Charizard and a Blastoise unleashed streams of fire and water respectively. The two met far above the arena in an explosion of sparks.

"Hey, all you Pokémon League fans!" said the announcer, as a pokéball opened in a blaze of laser lights, showing the hat. "Now you have a chance win one of a hundred limited addition Pokémon League official hats. It's wearable, it's washable, and it's Official! Don't miss your chance to win the Official hat, of the Official expo, of the Official Pokémon League!" The Charizard and Blastoise reappeared wearing the hats, in victory poses.

"It's Official," said Brock knowingly.

"I didn't know that was an Official Pokémon League hat. I remember, I entered the same contest too," said Misty.

"I had to send in about a million postcards to win that hat!" yelled Ash.

"No wonder I didn't win. I only sent in one!" said Misty.

"Poor Ash. Losing an Official hat is like losing your best friend!" Brock thought aloud.

"Pika?" Pikachu asked.

Ash shinnied up. "Almost got it..." he said as he reached for the final branch...

WakWakWak! Ash was sent flying down again headfirst.

"Well, hello there, chumps!" Jessie said, entering the scene.

"Team Rocket!" said Misty in warning.

"What are you doing here?" demanded Brock.

"Aren't you happy to see us?" asked Meowth annoyingly.

Mankey, having jumped down from the tree, clung onto Jessie, Meowth and James in turn for some obscure reason. When it got off James, he sneered, "Buzz off," and kicked Mankey away.

Misty gasped and Brock cried, "I wish he hadn't done that!"

"Still trying to capture Pikachu?" asked Misty.

"We just want to borrow it.... permanently." said Jessie.

"Your situation is hopeless. Hand Pikachu over, or else..."

"Or else what?"

Jessie and James posed for their speech.

"To protect the world from devastation!"

"To unite all people within our nation!"

"To denounce the evils of truth and love!"

"To extend our reach to the stars above!"

"Jessie!"

"James!"

"Team Rocket blasts off at the speed of light!"

"Surrender now or prepare to fight!"

"Meee-owth, that's right!" said Meowth, flipping in.

"I'm having a major hat crisis." said Ash, unimpressed. "Could you try to steal Pikachu some other time?"

"Now's the perfect time!" retorted Jessie happily. "You're obviously too pooped to protect your Pikachu."

"If you guys don't get out of here fast, you're going to get as whipped as Ash did!" warned Brock.

"By who?"

"By Mankey."

Jessie and James looked at each other. "What's a Mankey?" Jessie asked.

"I guess that thing I kicked out of the way." James suggested. They looked.

Mankey was standing on top of a rock, its eyes glowing white. The white glow then spread to its body, and it began to grow.

Its tail disappeared and it grew to almost three times its earlier size. When it finally finished, the new pokémon looked tough. Strong. And not in a good mood.

"I... i... it... it... it..." stuttered Jessie and James, hanging onto each other in fear, then finished, "Evolved!"

"Prr... Prr... Prriiiii!" It called its battle cry.

"What's that?" asked Misty. Ash again used his Pokédex.

"Primape. If you make eye contact with this evolved form of Mankey, it will chase you forever."

"This furball?" asked Jessie with scorn. "That's ridiculous. Now, let's capture Pikachu! Go Ekans!"

"And go Koffing!"

"Ekanssss..."

"Koffing!"

Pikachu got into a fighting stance. Electricity crackled.

"Come on!" yelled Jessie, not noticing Primape jumping up behind her.

WHACK!

Jessie flew forward, knocking both Ekans and Koffing down. Ash, Misty and Brock barely got out of the way. Jessie ended up neck deep in a large rock face.

"Ahhh!" cried Meowth and James. Jessie slid down to the ground.

"How dare you damage my perfection!" Jessie cried in rage. "Now you'll pay! Ekans, Koffing, never mind Pikachu, get that Primape!

"But we came for Pikachu!" protested Meowth.

"Team Rocket always puts Beauty before duty. Come on!" James and Meowth joined the fight.

"Now's our chance," Misty said. She and Brock each grabbed one of Ash's arms and dragged him along behind. Ash didn't resist until he noticed...

"Ah! My hat!" The hat was still where Mankey had been kicked.

Pikachu turned round and ran back to get the hat. Primape, having trampled the rockets, jumped into Pikachu's path.

"Don't look at it in the eye, Pikachu!" called Misty.

Pikachu cowered, eyes firmly held at the ground. But, curiosity got the better of him and he looked up, further and further until he was looking eye to eye with Primape. Primape looked suprised, forgot Pikachu (who was backing away as fast as he could), kicked the hat onto its head and laughed.

"It's got my hat!"

"And it never sent in one postcard," sighed Misty.

"Pikachu, Thundershock!"

"Pikachuuuuu!" Pikachu unleashed his electric attack. "Nice work!" called Ash. Primape tensed but, when the attack stopped, it seemed to be unhurt. Just really mad.

"Pikachu?" said Pikachu curiously.

"Now what do we do?" asked Misty.

"That attack made it even madder!" wailed Ash.

"Wait a minute," said Brock. "I have a theory. Primape's not trying to steal your hat!"

"Huh?"

"It's scared of us. When it was a Mankey, you tried to capture it. Then James kicked it. I think it took your hat so it could get a little attention, because it's lonely all by itself!" Brock walked up to test it.

"Be careful!" called Misty after him.

Brock walked up to the Primape which was stamping blindly on the ground. "Now everything's going to be fine," he said, and grabbed Primape's arm. "Gimme a smile, buddy!" He pulled the arm over his shoulder.

Primape, after a second of shocked suprise, jumped out of the position and onto Brock's back, hitting him constantly.

"Hey quit it - Knock it off - That hurts - Stop, STOP!" He yelled wildly. Primape stopped.

"Huh?" Brock said, looking up... Right into Primape's eyes.

"Aaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!" cried Brock as he was thrown into the air by Primape's uppercut.

"I think Brock needs a new theory," said Misty as they watched Brock cartwheel through the air.

"Guess so," Ash agreed. They cringed as he smashed into the ground.

Primape was going crazy, stomping and attacking the ground. Ash used Dexter.

"Once Primape begins its strongest attack Thrash, it goes completely out of control."

"I think we're in big trouble," said Misty, backing away.

"Huh?" Ash looked up to see Primape racing towards them.

"Ruuuun!" They ran for their lives.

Ash and Misty ran over Team Rocket and their pokémon, closely followed by Primape.

"There," said Jessie.

"They," continued James.

"Go," finished Meowth.

"Looks like Team Rockets blasting..." said Jessie.

"Off..." continued James.

"Once again!" finished Meowth.

They 'blasted off' in pursuit of the others.

Misty, Ash and Pikachu were still running.

"If we split up maybe we can lose it!" yelled Ash in desperation.

"Okay!" Misty split off down a side path. Primape ignored her and simply raced straight ahead after Ash.

"Oh no," Misty said, coming back to the intersection. "It doesn't look like Primape's easy to lose!"

Brock came up beside her, and rested panting for a moment.

"I just hope Ash doesn't look Primape in the eye!" he said.

"Now what?" Misty demanded.

"Let's find Ash." They ran after him.

Ash ran on full speed. He dodged and climbed over various rocks. Primape just ran straight through, smashing them into gravel.

"I don't know how much longer I can run!" Ash cried.

Further down the track, Jessie and James were digging a hole while their pokémon looked on.

There's nothing like digging a hole when you want to play dirty," commented James between pants.

Having finished, they looked up to where they knew Ash was coming from. (How did they get there first? Who knows?)

There was a cloud in the far distance.

"Haha!" Jessie laughed. "At last, the moment of truth! Huh?"

She had underestimated the speed at which Ash was being chased. Ash tripped and fell right on top of them. Primape skidded to a stop just in front of the hole.

Koffing was trapped under several bodies. "Koff Koff Koff, Koffing!" it said as it unleashed its gasses. Primape recoiled in surprise.

"What's a hole doing in the road?!" coughed Ash, getting up with Pikachu on his head.

"Koffing, you nincompoop!" yelled Jessie. They saw each other.

"How'd you guys get down here?" demanded Ash.

"Pika!" added Pikachu angrily.

"Pikachu!" said James, rising up on Ekans's back.

"Why don't you come for a ride on my head?" asked Jessie.

"What?! Pikachu, Thundershock!" Pikachu unleashed its attack. Unfortunately, it had forgotten to get off Ash's head.

Everyone was electrocuted. "Not.... me!" Ash yelled.

Primape looked into the hole. Ash tried to scramble up as it jumped in. Primape jumped up and landed in front of him.

Ash stared fearlessly into its eyes. He remembered what Professor Oak had said.

"I can't write a good poem without rhymes. And you can't be a good trainer without catching more pokémon."

Misty and Brock finally caught up.

"Professor Oak's right," Ash said forcefully, holding out a pokéball. "No more games. I'm gonna capture you, Primape!"

"Why do you have to be so stubborn?" asked Misty. "Primape is too dangerous to capture, Ash!"

"Just forget the hat!" added Brock.

"It's not that. It's because I want to become a pokémon master. A real master would never let any pokémon get away!"

"Pika!" Pikachu looked up at his trainer with admiration.

"He's always trying to sound tough," said Misty with a sigh.

"Squirtle, I choose you!" Ash cried, throwing the pokéball. "Soak its head with your water gun!"

"Squirtle... glugluglugluglug!" Squirtle cried as the water attack was unleashed.

Primape took the attack, and it got so angry it became red-hot and the water dispersed in a massive cloud of steam.

Misty cried out and jumped behind Brock.

"Squirtle, Return! Bulbasaur, I choose you!"

"Bulbasaur!" it cried.

"Bulbasaur, Razor leaf now!"

"Bulba!" The spiraling leaves swirled out from its back. Primape simply hit them out of the air.

"Ahh!" cried Misty and Brock.

"Bulbasaur, return! Charmander, Go!"

Charmander came out with a series of Flamethrower blasts. Primape dodged these and laid into Charmander with a set of punches to the head.

"Charmander!" Ash yelled frantically.

Charmander was being beaten to a pulp by Primape.

"Pika-pika," Pikachu said sadly.

"Charmander..." Ash said hopelessly.

Charmander looked like a goner until...

Its tail flame burst to about five times its normal size!

"The flame on its tail! What's happening?" Ash said incredulously, pointing Dexter.

"Charmander's special attack, Rage. It gains more power the more it is attacked. It will continue to fight until its opponent falls."

"Alright! I didn't know it had that kind of power!" Ash yelled excitedly. "Charmander, go!"

"Mander!" it yelled. Primape continued to hit Charmander. Charmander retaliated by biting onto Primape's hand. Primape shook it off.

Charmander flipped in midair and tried to flame Primape. Primape jumped away.

"Burn now, Charmander! Flamethrower attack!" Charmander prepared to unleash its huge attack. The flame on its tail was almost as big as its whole body.

Pikachu suddenly jumped forward. Charmander used its attack Everything seemed to go into slow motion.

"Kaaa!" Pikachu yelled as it leapt up and grabbed Ash's hat off Primape's head in its mouth.

"Hey, Pikachu!" Ash yelled.

Pikachu landed and ran out of the way, a split second before Primape was toasted. Primape stood balanced on one leg with a suprised expression for a moment, looked like it was about to attack, then collapsed in the dust.

Charmander puffed out its chest in pride. Pikachu stood holding Ash's hat in its front paws.

"Good work, Charmander! I'll take over now. Pokéball, go!"

The pokéball swallowed Primape, wobbled for a while, then stopped. "Yes..." Ash started, but the ball started rocking again. It stopped again soon.

Everyone watched it cautiously. Eventually Ash pulled up the courage to go over to it. He picked it up and laughed.

"Alright!" he yelled enthusiastically. He did his pose. "Primape is mine!"

"You did it!" said Brock

"Congratulations!" congratulated Misty.

"Chu!" agreed Pikachu, holding up Ash's hat.

"Thanks, Pikachu!" said Ash, taking his hat and replacing it.

"Don't forget us!" called a voice behind them. Team Rocket struggled out of the hole.

"So, it's the whole gang!"

"It's your fault we ended up in here!" Jessie raged, then asked, "Where's Primape?"

"Well, Why don't you just see for yourself?" Ash said with a laugh. He tossed the ball over his shoulder and into the hole with them.

They looked at it, there was a blinding flash of light, and Primape leapt out and pulled them back in. After a few seconds of bashing, its uppercut sent them all flying.

"Looks like Team Rocket's blasting off again!" they cried.

"Primape sure gave them a thrashing!" commented Misty.

"Well at least now Primape's doing the thrashing on our side!" pointed out Ash. "Welcome to the team, Primape!"

Primape replied to this by turning around and punching Ash in the eye.

"Primape's good at thrashing but it's got a lot to learn about team spirit." Ash groaned as Primape jumped on top of him.

"The hat... might help!" Brock suggested.

"Better start sending in postcards!" Misty said.

"I'll do whatever it takes to become a pokémon master!" Ash said forcefully. "Charmander, Primape, return!" They were pulled into their respective pokéballs.

"Pikachu, pika!" Pikachu yelled, further down the track.

"What is it?" Ash asked, running down.

"Ahh, there's Celadon City!" said Brock.

"You know, if Primape hadn't chased us, we wouldn't have gotten here as fast as we did! Right Brock?"

"Yeah. I guess it was lucky after all!"

"Pikapika!" Pikachu agreed

"Way to go, Primape. Now that I've caught a new pokémon, It's time to earn a badge."

They laughed, revitalized by the sight of their goal, as they raced towards it.

Meanwhile, Team Rocket had finally landed to find themselves facing another Primape. In fact, they were surrounded by hundreds of them.

As the Primape attacked, they yelled, "I wish we had some donuts!"